Notes From Babel

One Nation Under Jerks

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P.J. O’Rourke’s Parliament of Whores is an oldie by now, which makes the aptness of this quote—in light of recent rising executive bonuses—so much fun:

The S&L bailout is just another case of the government giving money to jerks, and we’re all used to that.  Somebody gets himself addicted to heroin.  He’s a jerk.  The government gives him money to take methadone.  Somebody else owns a corporation that makes rocket boosters that don’t work.  He’s a jerk, and the government gives him money to build more.  Then there are the people with the pervert-photo-exhibit grants from the National Endowment for the Arts, those jerks.  Not to mention all the jerk nations that our government buys new tanks for every time their old tanks get stick between the treads from running over civilians.  The government gives so much money to jerks that given money to jerks must be—like giving the power to set the national agenda to network TV—one of the basic, constitutionally mandated purposes of government:

“We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense and give money to jerks . . .”


Written by Tim Kowal

August 14, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Posted in Quotes

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